Evil Steven Universe vs Kung Fu Panda
by Electivecross02
Summary: Takes place during the show. Read.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The Valley of Peace was going about it's normal day. The Jade Palace Masters, known as the Furious Five, were amidst training with each other in the art of Kung Fu. There was Tigress, a tiger that was the master of the Tiger style, Monkey, a howler monkey that was the master of the monkey style, Crane, a crane that was the master of the Crane style, Viper, a viper that was the master of the viper style, and Mantis, a praying mantis that was the master of the mantis style. Then there was the dragon warrior, Po, who was a giant panda and used his own size and weight to fight with his own kung-fu talent. They were trained by a Red Panda named Master Shifu.

Down in the village, a villager shop-owner was being robbed by mediocre Croc bandits, led by Fung.

Fung: Little goat! Tremble in fear as we forcefully redistribute your wealth in our direction!

Villager: No.

Fung: What? No? That's not how this works. We're bandits, and we're robbing you.

Villager: I understand how it would work if you were real bandits. But you're a joke. So how it does work is...buy something or get out!

The Crocs left the establishment, having made no money.

Fung: You know what we really need, guys? A good leader.

Croc: Uh, I don't think you should say that. What if Tong Fo is listening?

Fung: Tong Fo isn't our leader anymore, remember?

Child voice: So, you're looking for a new leader?

Fung: Who said that?

Child voice: I did.

A human child landed in front of them. He was chubby, and had a red shirt with a yellow star on it, blue jeans, and sandals. His hair was also curly, and his eyes were blood red.

Fung: What and who are you supposed to be?

Steven: I'm a human being, and my name, is Steven Universe. I hear the position is open for a new leader for you?

Fung: Uh, yeah. But what makes you think you can lead us?

Steven: Let me answer a question with a question. Do you enjoy being beaten by the Furios Five, again and again and again and again and again and again and again?

Fung: Wait, how do you know about that?

Steven: I've been watching over you and all the criminals of China. You are the sorriest disappointment for bandits I've ever seen. But, I'm here to bring you to the top again.

The Croc bandits started laughing hilariously.

Fung: Ok. That's just adorable! Now how about you run home, and you won't get hurt?

Steven: Sure. But first.

Steven leapt up and ran across the Croc bandit's heads. He grabbed one and knocked him over, before delivering a quick kick to one, a palm strike to another, a double fist strike to one, and then knocking over Fung to land on top of him.

Steven: Now, am I your new leader?

Fung: Fine. It's not like you can do any better than Tong Fo.

Steven: Maybe I can. Come with me to the Valley of Peace, and I'll show you.

A few hours passed, and Steven and the Croc bandits were walking along the Valley of Peace.

Steven: Now, destroy some stuff to lure the Jade Palace masters down here.

The Crocs started using their weapons to destroy the tents and shops. It wasn't long before Po and the Furious Five arrived.

Po: Fung? Why are you here?

Fung: It's not actually me that wanted to fight. It's my new boss.

Steven emerged from the bandit group.

Tigress: Really? He's your new boss?

Steven: Yeah.

Monkey: Are we supposed to fight you?

Steven: Yeah.

Mantis: No offense, but your as small as Shifu.

Steven dashed forward and slammed Po through a house.

Crane: It's not possible.

Steven delivered a tornado of attacks sending the Five multiple directions.

Viper: Ok, this guy means business.

Po and the Five started attacking from multiple directions, using their own individual attacks. Steven began swaying his upper body multiple directions at hypersonic speeds, that evaded all 6 attackers' punches and kicks. He jumped into the air, and split kicked Tigress and Monkey, landing on the ground to grab Viper and use her body to whip away Mantis, then leaping backwards to crush Crane to the floor, then did a jump kick against Po before sending them all away with a sonic ground pound.

The Crocs were left shocked at Steven's incredible Kung Fu abilities.

Fung: Did you guys see that too?

The Crocs all nodded.

Steven: Now. Where can I find this, Tong Fo?

Fung: Uh, he's in Chor-Gom prison now.

Steven: Where is Chor-Gom prison?

Fung: You probably don't want to go there. It's dark, cold, and full of rhinos and...

Steven grabbed Fung by the snout.

Steven: Where is it?

Fung spoke from the side of his mouth.

Fung: Ow ow ow! Ok! Ill tell you. It's over in the snowy mountains. We'll take you there, boss.

Steven: Then let's go.

Steven and the croc bandits left the Valley.

Po: We just got our butts handed to us...by a kid?

Mantis: I'm sure Master Shifu will understand.

They returned to the Jade Palace and told Master Shifu of their encounter.

Master Shifu: A child?!

Crane: In our defense, he was really good at kung fu.

Monkey: Seriously. He dodged all of our punches at once, swaying side to side really fast to avoid all six of us.

Shifu: That's impossible. Not even a Celestial Phoenix is able to do that. What did he look like?

Po: Oh, you know. Kinda short and chubby. Had a little bit of hair on his head, and wore some clothes and blue pants.

Shifu: Did he look like Monkey, but less hairy?

Po: Yeah.

Shifu: Then it is as I feared. This same attacker has been spotted all over the valley. It is my belief that he is from the Western Hemisphere of the planet. A country known as the United States. They are sending over three of their experts on this enemy to help.

Tigress: Master, please. Let us take on this enemy.

Viper: If we don't beat him, we'll never get our honor back.

Shifu: They're already on their way.

English accent lady: We are here.

Po turned and saw three colorful women. One was red, another was white and blue, and another was purple.

Mantis: Well, they're definetely pretty colorful.

Red lady: We are the Crystal Gems. Garnet!

Garnet revealed her two garnets in her hands and a pair of gauntlets morphed around them, slamming them together.

Purple lady: Amethyst!

Amethyst revealed the amethyst in her gem and pulled a long whip from it that she cracked with one swipe.

Blue and white lady: Pearl!

Pearl revealed the pearl in her forehead and a spear extended from it, which she pulled out and spun around before planting it on the floor.

Po: Woah! They can pull weapons from their bodies! Awesome!

Shifu: Thank you so much for coming. This enemy was able to beat my students all at once.

Garnet: If he's here, you're all in big trouble.

Pearl: Let us explain.

Pearl projected a hologram from her pearl.

Pearl: Long ago, we were defenders of humanity. We fought to protect the world from evil threats with our leader, Rose Quartz. Steven is her son, and she had to give up her physical form to make him. At first, he was nice, funny, caring sweet, but he never did figure out how to control his powers. One day, our home, Beach City, became ravaged by these creatures called necromorphs. The necromorphs were created by an alien relic known as the Marker. Steven was able to destroy it, but it corrupted his body and mind. Now all he wants is conquest and power. The Marker also enhanced his abilities and powers 1000 fold.

Po: That's a lot of fold.

Garnet: If he came here, his plan is the same. Unite all the evils here, and turn them into his fighting force to take over China, then the world.

Shifu: This is much worse than anything we could've anticipated. Gems. I'm sending you out with Crane, Po, and Tigress. See if you can find where Steven is gathering everyone.

Po: We're on it, Master.

Steven and the Croc bandits arrived at the entry to Chor-Gom prison.

Steven: Alright. Let's go.

Steven charged up a blast in his hand and blasted it through the door. The rhino guards all noticed this.

Rhino: Intruder!

They all attacked Steven as he leapt forward, kicking through the shield of one of the guards, breaking it and sending the guard through the other guards.

Fung: Here. Tong Fo is this way.

The Crocs lead Steven to the cells, and showed Steven where Tong Fo was. Steven broke the door down, and looked inside to see a small Loris with blue sweatpants standing inside.

Steven: Tong Fo, I presume?

Tong Fo: Depends on who's asking.

Steven: My name is Steven Universe. I came to break you out.

Tong Fo: You? You're only a child!

Fung: Uh, actually, I'd like to point out that he defeated the guards in one punch.

Tong Fo: Is that right now?

Tong Fo stared at him with his massive eyes.

Fung: Seriously. Those eyes.

Steven: He doesn't have big eyes. He has a tiny skull. I bet his brain barely fits inside it.

Tong Fo stared angrily at Steven for a moment, before giggling and bursting into laughter. Steven soon did the same thing with the Crocs.

Tong Fo: Finally! Someone gets it!

Steven: Now help me break all the other prisoners out.

Tong Fo: I think this is the start to a beautiful new partnership.

Steven: Indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Steven had many villains gathered together in a secret hideout. There was Tong Fo at his side, the Croc bandits, a group of Wolves led by a wolf named Heilang, a cobra named Fu-Xi, a scorpion named Scorpion, a rhino named Hundun, a fox named Junjie, a warthog named Taotie with his son, Bian Zao, a water buffalo named Temutai with a water buffalo army, and an owl named Fenghuang.

Temutai: I demand to know why you brought us here!

Fu-Xi: And why you have me working alongside the two-leggers?

Steven: I brought you all here so that we can destroy China and take over the world.

Tong Fo: What our friend here is saying is. Help us, and we get stuff. A lot of stuff.

Fenghuang: How do we know you're really worth our time?

Heilang: The Lin-Kuei don't work for anyone unless the payoff is enormous.

Steven: It is. You get the phantom orb and shadow crowns.

Heilang: We'd be unseen and untouched. We could do anything!

Steven: Junjie would control the Jade Palace.

Junjie: Yes!

Steven: Taotie could develop his machines.

Taotie: What an exciting offer.

Fenghuang: How do we know you're strong enough to lead us?

Steven began rapidly twirling in place then fired a blast of energy that knocked back the massive Temutai.

Fenghuang: Interesting. You know the Thundering Wind Hammer.

She fired the same blast, which Steven deflected by clapping his hands together then spreading his arms opposite directions to divert the energy.

Fenghuang: That was most impressive.

Steven: What you can't absorb...

Fenghuang and Steven: ...you deflect.

Scorpion: What's the catch?

Steven: I put you through the most terrifyingly difficult, frustratingly intense, mind-bending training you've ever experienced.

Taotie: I don't do Kung fu.

Bian Zao: Dad. This is the first guy we've met that's not lame. Just do the training.

Steven: Listen to your son, Taotie. He knows what he's talking about.

Hundun: When does the training start?

Steven: Now.

(I'll Make a Man Out of You song plays)

Steven: _Let's get down to business. To defeat the Five. We must work together, if we want to survive. You're the saddest bunch I've ever met. And you can bet before we're through. Mister, I'll make a man out of you. _

The group was outside, following Steven's instructions for training. The goal was to shoot an arrow into a apple thrown into the air.

Steven: _Tranquil as a forest. But on fire within. Once you find your center, you are sure to win. You're a spineless pale, pathetic lot. And you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of you._

They were put through many dangerous and difficult challenges such as running across a field to avoid coming blazing arrows, cracking a cinder block with a bare skull, running across shallow water without sinking, and being able to grab a fish out of the water with precision. All of which, they were failing at miserably.

Hundun:_ I ain't ever gonna catch my breath!_

Tong Fo: _Say goodbye to those who knew me!_

Taotie: _Boy, I was a fool at school for cutting gym!_

Scorpion: _This guy got 'em scared to death!_

Fenghuang: _Hope he doesn't see right through me!_

Temutai: _Boy, I wish that I knew how to swim!_

All: _To be a man!_

Junjie: _We must be swift as a coursing river._

All: _Be a man!_

Fu-Xi: _With all the force of a great typhoon!_

All: _Be a man!_

Fung: _With all the strength of a raging fire._

Heilang: _Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_.

They were carrying poles on their shoulders with buckets of rocks and metal on each side.

Steven: _Time is racing toward us, till we must arrive! Heed my every order, and you might survive! _

Taotie was having difficulty with the exercise, so Steven had to come and help him, with a bitter look on his face, making Taotie feel insignificant. Later, Steven was ready to tell Taotie to leave.

Steven: _You're unsuited for, the rage of war! So pack up! Go home, you're through. How could I make a man out of you?_

Taotie saw a pole that Steven had fired an arrow on top of. The goal was to reach the arrow with giant gold weights tied around the wrists. Determined to make Steven proud, Taotie grabbed the weights, and began successfully climbing the pole.

All: _To be a man!_

Junjie: _We must be swift as a coursing river._

All: _Be a man!_

Fu-Xi: _With all the force of a great typhoon!_

All: _Be a man!_

Fung: _With all the strength of a raging fire._

Heilang: _Mysterious as the dark side of the moon_.

Steven witnessed Taotie grab the arrow, having reached the top.

Soon after, they began repeating the exercises, and they began completing them with absolute precision, strength, skill, and speed.

All: _To be a man! _

Steven: _We must be swift as a coursing river!_

All: _Be a man!_

Steven: _With all the force of the a great typhoon!_

All: _Be a man!_

Steven: _With all the strength of a raging fire!_

All: _Mysterious as the dark side of the moon! _

They all performed the same kick, ending their training. They bowed in respect to Steven, and Steven bowed back. _  
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Steven: You're ready.

The Gems, Po, Tigress, and Crane arrived in a spot in the forest.

Crane: This is where that traveller said he last saw Steven and his goons.

Garnet: We'll rest here and wait. He'll be close.

Po: So tell me about Steven. His mother died to give birth to him?

Amethyst: Well, she became half of him, the other half game from his dad's DNA.

Pearl: Which is good. If his mother wasn't a part of him, he'd be a lot less merciful than he is now. She holds him back.

Po: Hey. Maybe his mom could finally talk some sense into him.

Amethyst: Hey, if you knew her and had her lying around, sure.

Po: No, but I know how to get her out of it. Using a tool called the mirror of yin and yang, we can split Steven into Rose and Steven. Or just make a good Steven. Or both. We'll have to see. Crane. Go back and grab that mirror.

Crane: Are you guys gonna be good?

Tigress: We'll be fine. Get the mirror.

Crane flew away.

Cheering noises were heard. The group ran to the source to find a hole in the floor, looking into a chamber Steven and his evil army were gathered.

Po: Woah. That's a lot of bad guys. Temutai? Tong Fo? Fenghuang?

Tigress: Taotie? Junjie? He got everyone.

Garnet: We have to be quiet. Tigress and I will draw them in. You flank.

Garnet slammed her fist into the floor, sending her and Tigress into the floor.

Steven: Garnet! And one of the masters! Destroy them!

Tong Fo leapt from the ceiling and grappled Tigress's face. Fenghuang flew forward and started trading blows with Garnet. She swiped with her bladed wings that Garnet avoided with speed. She swung her own punches that Fenghuang blocked with her wings. She grabbed Garnet's gauntlets with her talons and flew her across the room, before throwing her into Temutai, getting her to get slammed into the roof, then into the chain hammer of one of the Lin-Kwei. She finally hit the ground, landing in front of Steven, who was smiling.

Steven: Welcome to China. Where are the others?

Po's stomach slammed him into a wall. Steven picked himself up to find Pearl and Amethyst by his side.

Po: You two take on everyone else. He's mine.

Steven: You are a fool. What makes you think you can beat me?

Po: Because I'm awesome, and you are not.

Steven: That's it? Ok then.

Steven delivered a kick into Po's stomach, sending him into a wall, then Po bounced back and bounced Steven into a wall. He recovered and leapt forward, trading blows with Po. Po was trying to defend from Steven's rapid attacks. Steven charged up energy in his hand.

Steven: Everyone shield your eyes!

Everyone except Po shielded their eyes.

Steven: Golden Lotus clap!

He clapped his hands, and a golden energy wave hit Po in the face, causing him to go blind.

Po: Hello? Where is everybody? Wait! Golden Lotus heal!

Po performed a similar trick, and got his vision back, only to see Steven's fist fly into his face. He crashed into the floor, and struggled to stand up.

Steven: Take your time getting up. I want this moment to last a long time.

Po: That's the point. It's called stalling.

Steven: For what?

Shifu: For this!

Crane dropped down with a mirror, ridden by Viper, Shifu and Mantis. They engaged in the fight. Crane flew the mirror to Po, who revealed it as Steven looked into it.

Steven: What is that?

Po: Mirror of Yin and Yang.

The mirror flashed a hologram of Steven out, and into the mirror. It then manifested, causing an explosion that sent everyone back. When the smoke cleared, a very tall woman with a Quartz in her chest stood up. She had luscious pink hair, large lips, a pink dress, and a star cut around where her Quartz was. Steven stood up next to her, and they both looked up at each other. Rose Quartz.

Steven: Mom?

Rose: Steven?

Steven: How did? It doesn't matter...

Steven levitated Rose with his mind and threw her into the crowd. His eyes suddenly turned a dark black with red pupils.

Steven: Unfortunately, I no longer need your help. Thank you, Po. Now that my mother has been expelled from my body, there will be nothing holding back my full power.

Steven clapped his hands and started twirling in a series of movements, and a fireball swelled up in his hands.

Fenghuang: It's the Mongolian Fireball! Hang on to something!

Steven threw the fireball and it created a fiery vortex. Some of Temutai's soldiers and the Lin Kuie into the vortex as it dissipated.

Temutai: It appears we all have to work together!

Tong Fo: Of course you realize, we're not helping you. You're helping us not die.

Steven held his hand out, and a few seconds passed, and an old goat got sucked into his hand.

Shifu: Master Yao!

Steven: Surrender, and Yao won't die!

Rose: Can somebody please fill me in?

Garnet: Your son turned evil, and we were hoping you could reason with him, so we used a magic mirror to split you apart.

Rose: I'll do what I can. Steven?

Rose slowly approached.

Steven: Don't come any closer! I can snap this poor old goat's hand with one hand and you all know it!

Yao: Ooh! My life is being threatened! How exciting!

Steven: Zip it, Yao!

Rose: Steven. Listen to me. Look around you. This is never what I wanted you to do. I wanted you to be something extraordinary. Something great that would change this world! Something that would join the path of life. It's the beauty I saw in everything that inspired me to have you. If we always battle each other for selfish desires, what's the point of living? If we always want more out of life, then we're not living good lives.

Steven's eyes started to fade from their darker colors.

Rose: Steven. I love you. You are a beautiful child, who is capable of so much more than evil. You're better than this, and deep down you know it. Please stop this. Stop this, and we can live together, and be a family.

Steven's eyes reverted to normal. Rose embraced him in a hug.

Amethyst: I think it worked.

Steven's eyes opened, and revealed to be back to black and red.

Pearl: Oh no!

Rose suddenly yelled in pain. She fell back across the stairs, and into the group. There was a large gash in her gem, and in her stomach. Steven revealed a butterfly knife in his hand. He flipped it's different parts to close it. The Gems rushed to Rose's side.

Steven: Nice try. All that about how deep down I know I'm better than this was always you. I may be capable of something other than evil, but that capability died with you.

Rose was breathing heavily, her wound soon taking its toll. The life faded from her eyes, and her body went limp. Everyone looked on angrily at Steven.

Tong Fo: You. You killed your own mother!

Fenghuang: Even I wouldn't do that, and I'm hardcore evil.

Pearl: Steven! How could you?!

Temutai: This shall not stand! Brlrlbrlrbrlrblrbrlr!

Fu-Xi: My family was lost to the two-leggers. But to see a two-legged kill his own mother. I will end you!

Fu-Xi leapt forward started swiping his tail at Steven, which he dodged and ducked with little movement. He grabbed him and threw him into a wall. Everyone attacked. Steven delivered quick strikes to Temutai, and his body was paralyzed. He traded quick blows with Heilang, who used a chain hammer to attack. He tried swinging it into Steven, but he ducked it grabbed it and used it to swing him into the entire group. Pearl brought her spear down on him, and Amethyst did the same with her whip. He dodged both, and delivered quick kicks to them. He started battling Garnet, and sent her into a wall with a palm strike. Fenghuang flew into the air and prepared a dive bomb on Steven, but he jumped on her and redirected her into Crane. They crashed together into another wall. Tong Fo traded blows with him, but he was much swifter than the small Loris, and threw him into Junjie. Shifu dropped down and began attacking Steven. He blocked and evaded Shifu's quick attacks, then flicked him in the forehead, which caused him to fly into a ceiling, then fall to the floor. Viper and Mantis both attacked, and he kicked Mantis into the air, then karate chopped Viper, then did a sonic ground pound to knock them back. Tigress and Taotie attacked, Taotie used his newfound skills to fight. Steven delivered rapid acupuncture attacks to both of them, then knocked their heads together. Scorpion tried to prick him with her mind control poison, but he just ducked it, grabbed her stinger, then sent her to the floor, stepping on her. Hundun, Monkey, and Fung all attacked, but Steven ducked, jumped into the air, and did a massive roundhouse to knock all three of them out.

Po was helping up Master Yao.

Po: Yao, listen. We can't beat this guy. We need your help.

Yao: Certainly. For the valley of peace. First, you must use a technique only the Gems know, to absorb the power of everyone here.

Po: What is the technique?

Yao: Simply have everyone raise their hands to you. Then their energy will focus into you.

Po: Everyone! Raise your hands, tails, and pointy dealies to me!

Everyone was on the ground, and they did just that. All of their chi and energy began to flow towards Po. Soon, he had everyone's power, then glowed with golden chi.

Po: Steven!

Steven looked at Po.

Steven: Oh, come to fight me now have you? Let's finish this.

They both stood ready to fight. Steven hit Po in the chest, but Po took the energy and rebounded Steven through the wall. Po looked at his hands, amazed at his new powers. Steven jumped back and let out multiple blows that Po blocked and evaded, then he stepped on Steven's foot. He traded blows with Steven, then smacked him upside the head, catching his kick, flipping him over and slamming him into the floor, then dropping on him, flipping up, flipping Stevem into the air, pulling him in by his leg, head butting him, slamming him into the floor, then bouncing him far away with his butt. Steven got up, and in rage charged forward, which Po countered by using his belly to knock him into the air. Steven shot through the roof, and after a moment, crashed back down into the ground, creating a Steven hole in the ground. Steven pulled himself out, barely able to stand.

Steven: You can't defeat me! You're just a big fat, panda!

He did a punch, which Po blocked by grabbing his finger.

Po: I'm not a big fat panda. I'm the big fat panda.

Po raised his pinky.

Steven: The Wuxi finger hold!

Po: Oh, you know this hold?

Steven: You're bluffing. Shifu didn't teach you that!

Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh.

He dropped his pinky, and a massive golden energy wave shined across the valley. Steven had disappeared.

Garnet: You did it.

Po: I did, didn't I?

Po returned the power to everyone.

Junjie: I suppose this is the part where we start running.

Tigress: Yeah.

All the villains ran out of the building.

Po: I suppose this means you have to go?

Garnet: Yeah. We'll give Rose the proper farewell.

Pearl: Thank you all!

The Gems stepped on a conveniently placed warp pad, and warped out.

Po: So, you want to get something eat?

Everyone started laughing.

THE END


End file.
